The computer screen is on. It's a dull morning. I have internet with me... I could have chatted with thousands of people...but no, this is me sitting over here and having flashbacks about those days when I conceived the idea of Dark Soul and once in a lifetime when I had wanted to become a writer.. :)
Well, Dark Soul has been published now after all these years and is getting so many wonderful reviews.
But when I'm alone, I think of all those days when I had to toil day and night to write this. I had this flashback a few moments ago... so let me share it with you. It is that night when I actually got this idea to write.
The sky is pretty beautiful with all the twinkling stars. I'm staring at this little star in the east sky and engrossed in a deep thought with tears in my eyes. I hate science....I don't wanna do this. I have been constantly failing in maths n chemistry. No matter how much I study I always end up failing. Life sucks... I suck.. And I clearly need a break from this ugly world... from that school.
I don't even know how to get out of this. Soon I'll be in 12th and then I'll have to start with the engineering entrance exams. Gawd...help me !!
Suddenly a loud scream tears the sky and bursts open my thinking cloud. That's my mom.
"What the hell are you doing upstairs? Don't you have anything to study? Look, Dash Babu's daughter has already cleared the medical exams and the younger one is all ready to enter some law college. Have you even thought about your future? I can't do anything unless you get a job otherwise I'll get you married somewhere!!"
Uff... I'm literally tired of these lectures. Hello!! can someone see my tears ?? No, this only happens in India.. parents get you into something they want..doesn't matter you like it or not. So my advise is if you do not like something...protest !! Do not stay quiet like me and bitch about it later.
So this has been my life since a lot many years... boring, dull and fully remote controlled by my parents. I cry some more. I find this very soothing because I think crying takes away my pain. I cry some more and then go downstairs to the puja room. I sit there with a blank face and an empty mind, staring at Lord Krishna. He's smiling prettily taking Radha in his arms and holding his most famous bansuri. He looks gorgeous but now is not the time to be fascinated, I'm feeling terrible right now. His growing smile is making my skin crawl.
Just then I scream at him, "Why are you smiling ?? Is something funny ? My life is going through a rough phase and that makes you happy ?"
I kept throwing questions at him like some nuts but obviously he wasn't answering to any. So I stopped hurling..I was damn tired by shouting and again gaped at him. He was still smiling. Oh gosh !! does he ever stop smiling?
"Can you please offer me a solution?", I beg him now. The room is all so silent now. I'm still messed up and confused but my tears have dried up. I sit there for nearly half an hour or more. But then something clicks my brain. I WILL WRITE A BOOK.
Lol.. this was crazy I know. But this feeling was so strong and this fed the only mission of my life.. "I wanna do something different in my life"
I started creating the plot right over there.. I was that excited. From the moment I conceived the idea..I knew it's going to be a fantasy story plus a romantic one.
The thriller part came later... ;)
So this is how Dark Soul was born and a writer in me blossomed. Today I'm really thankful to god for that night. I'm thankful for his smile.. because through that he wanted to tell me.. that "think!! ideas are going to come. Things will be bad and even worse in life, but suck it up... coz you have to be fantastic to survive over here".
My writer's journey has given me too many surprises during this four years, it has taught me a great deal of things. And I just want my Lord Krishna to be with me... because if he's with me, I know I can cross all limits and achieve anything.
There are way too many flashbacks...will be sharing some more... so stay tuned guys for the next one. :D
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